Failure: Bend without Breaking
Turning Setbacks into Comebacks
The following post is part of a Seed Pod collaboration about failure. Seed Pods are a SmallStack community project designed to help smaller publications lift each other up by publishing and cross-promoting around a common theme. We’re helping each other plant the seeds for growth!
I am familiar with failure, but for me failure is such a loaded word. It’s defined as ‘a lack of success’ but again success can be measured in so many different ways.
Failure is often seen as a painful stop, a door closing, or a dream slipping through your fingers. It can feel heavy, like a weight pressing down on your chest, filling your mind with self-doubt and frustration.
I believe that failure is linked to comfort, stepping beyond your comfort zone and daring to try something new, different, risky perhaps. Thats gutsy!
Many times in my life I have stepped out of my comfort zone and some of those steps have led me to rough detours on the road. Sure it was disappointing, frustrating, sometimes heart wrenching but it gave me space to build up my resilience, and it provided me with the push that forced me to re-evaluate and evolve.
Resilience is the quiet strength that keeps you standing when life tries to knock you down.
Resilience is the ability to bend without breaking, to stumble and still find the courage to rise.
Resilience is not about avoiding hardship but facing it head-on, learning from setbacks, and adapting with grace.
Resilience is the fire inside your belly that refuses to be extinguished.
Resilience is the belief that no matter how tough the storm, you have the power to weather it and come out stronger on the other side.
When a long-term relationship unexpectedly ends, it can be seen as a ‘failure’ but it can also be seen as a new path of growth and evolution.
At first, the heartbreak feels unbearable, confusion sets in, and a shattered sense of identity. The future that you had once envisioned is now gone, and you are left to rebuild from scratch. Its a process of heart ache and loss. But over time, you begin to perhaps rediscover yourself again, you develop independence and explore new passions. The painful ending that you once felt actually becomes a turning point in your life, an opportunity for personal growth, self-love, and a fresh start. In the end, you emerge stronger, wiser, more resilient and aligned with who you truly are.
In any relationship there is always another person to consider, perhaps it ‘failed’ due to a breakdown in communication, trust, or emotional connection. Over time, unresolved conflicts, unmet needs, or differing life goals can create distance. A lack of effort, emotional neglect, or taking each other for granted can slowly erode the bond and foundation of love. Ultimately, relationships end when the balance of love, respect, and effort is lost. It’s not all down to one person why a relationship ends.
With any hardship in life we have to be courageous and face them, pass through them and not avoid them. As difficult as this is to do, in the end we can either learn from these setbacks or the lesson will repeat.
A lot of suffering can come from wishing something was different. True failure isn’t falling down, it’s refusing to rise again.
For ease you may prefer to listen to the audio during your practice
As we move inwards on our yoga mats today the invitation is to take failure with you as you practice. By this I mean, let’s look at linking comfort with failure in such a way that you attempt a yoga pose that you would never normally consider even trying to do. To bend without breaking.
Take a few moments to choose a posture. This ideally would be a posture that you are having trouble with. Don’t think too hard about it. I’m sure there is a stand out posture that comes to mind fairly quickly. Go with that one, and then with your resilient heart have a go. It’s not about whether you master the posture today or indeed ‘fail’ it’s about taking a step to move out of your comfort zone a little and feel your inner strength.
If you can’t think of posture then I recommend Crow Pose, called Kakasana (Sanskrit: काकासन). It’s a posture that requires strength, determination and courage to rise, while remaining calm and at ease. There is a genuine fear that students have of falling when they try this asana (so you are welcome to surround yourself with cushions if that helps you!).
It’s a very difficult posture to master so go gently on yourself. Remember we are linking failure to comfort, so the fact that you have this willingness to give it a go is incredibly brave. Each set back we have will build resilience and eventually lead us to overcoming that challenge. Over time you will develop muscle memory, so what may feel over-whelming and out of reach today will be possible tomorrow (or in a week/two weeks time!)
Remember here at You Are Not Alone we're gonna practice alongside each other, although self-led we are together, breathing, connected. You’ve got this!
After your practice when you are lying in ‘savasana’ take a few moments to sense what ‘failure’ means for you, and how you might wish to reframe it in your mind. Then maybe take some time to write that down in your journal.
Remember the hardest part is getting to your mat, and continuing to show up for yourself with all the ‘things’ you have to do and accomplish today.
If you are drawn to share your discoveries then please share in the comments below. I’d love to know, and your comments may also help someone else reading
Keep showing up for yourself! Your present and future self with be thankful.
It’s an honour to share this time with you.
❤️ Namaste Tracey Xx
Please feel free to share You Are Not Alone with loved ones and friends. I trust whoever needs to read my musings will find them as a source of inspiration and hope. They are all written from my heart and offer the opportunity to dive deeper into truth, authenticity and trust.
Moving Inward - Exercises designed to take with you onto your yoga mat or alternatively next time you go for a walk alone in nature. I hope the audio version helps with this ❤️
My Moving Inward invitation is a sweet, sweet friendly reminder to spend some precious ‘me time’ as often as possible. To take inspiration from my essays when you’re next on your mat and devote time to turning your gaze inwards, in order to cultivate a beautiful conscious conversation with your body, mind & emotions. Through this process we get to be who we really are, we get to practice listening and loving who we really are.
Really enjoyed this, Tracey. This line especially spoke to me: “Resilience is not about avoiding hardship but facing it head-on, learning from setbacks, and adapting with grace.” I’ve written a lot about resilience and I love that you mention adapting with grace. Oftentimes we’re so hard on ourselves, yet we’re often quick to give others grace. Happy to meet you here on Substack and look forward to moving inward.
This idea of “To bend without breaking.” Is such an empowering perspective and way of being. Thank you for this loving invitation 💖