When the Plan Falls Apart
Plot Twist : And Why That’s a Good Thing!
Because sometimes, the best plan is the one that didn’t work out.
There’s a quote I recently read that stopped me in my tracks:
‘Planning is important — but the most important part of every plan is to plan on the plan not going according to plan.’
It’s funny how many times (in just one sentence) there is a plan!
It’s not exactly the kind of sentence you want to hear when you’re holding onto your colour-coded calendar, your best intentions, and your vision/ action board filled with words like clarity and purpose. But it’s true. And somewhere deep down I think, we all know it.
We love a good plan, do you agree?
It makes us feel safe, anchored and in control.
Especially in midlife, when the world can feel more uncertain than ever. Planning gives us the illusion that we can somehow outsmart the chaos.
But life, our glorious, unpredictable life has other ideas.
We plan the week, our meals, the next step of our career, perhaps our retirement, the ‘new chapter.’
We build a version of how things should unfold. But what we rarely do is plan for when it doesn’t.
That’s where the real work, and the real freedom begins.
Because when the plan falls apart, what’s revealed isn’t failure. It’s truth. It’s the space between expectation and reality.
It’s called the messy middle where life actually lives.
This is the part no one teaches us to embrace.
Instead we’re often told to get back on track, to try harder, or to stick to the plan.
But what if ‘being back on track’ was never the point?
What if life is less about the plan itself, and more about who we become when it shifts beneath us?
Last summer, I planned what I thought was the perfect weekend getaway to the rugged coast of North Devon. The kind of trip with a colour-coded itinerary (I know you love one!), sunrise walks, and a café for every mood. Of course I had every moment mapped out. And, as these things tend to go, every single part of it promptly fell apart. The car tyre got a puncher, our airbnb wasn’t ready when they had said to check in, and the weather decided to turn biblical.
Sitting in a damp café with a soggy almond croissant, I decided to give up on the plan completely, and that’s when the unexpected magic happened. A woman probably in her seventies, wearing a sunshine-yellow raincoat, struck up a conversation. She told me her best days always started when the plan went wrong. She later told me about a hidden path along the cliffs, where there were no tourists, no schedule, just wildflowers, gorgeous views and the fresh sea air.
So later, somewhere along that walk, I realised the weekend had turned out better because it hadn’t gone to plan. I didn’t need the structure; I needed the space to listen to my body, my intuition, my senses and the world around me.
Sometimes that cancelled ‘train’ is the universe’s way of rerouting you to something you didn’t even know you needed.
And here’s the second plot twist
We live in a time where we have so much choice that even making a plan feels paralysing.
We can choose from 47 brands of almond milk, 20 yoga teachers online, and 5 different ways to ‘find our purpose’ and all that can happen before breakfast. The paradox of choice says that the more options we have, the less satisfied we actually become, because every decision comes with a shadow of what we didn’t choose.
So we plan, we hesitate, we overthink.
We want the ‘right’ choice, the ‘best’ option, the perfect timing, and in doing so, we forget that no plan survives contact with real life.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do isn’t to plan better, it’s to let go better.
The beauty of a plan falling apart is that it calls forth something ancient in us, and that’s our imagination. When the script burns, we start to write again, this time in our own handwriting. When you stop clinging to the plan, you start listening to the pulse beneath it.
You notice what actually matters.
You make choices from your intuition instead of fear.
You find yourself improvising, creating, adapting and somehow, it’s more alive than anything you could’ve planned.
Maybe that’s what midlife is teaching us — not how to perfect the plan, but how to trust ourselves when it changes.
So my invitation for you this week is, instead of planning your next big move, try this:
Plan on the plan not going to plan, and let that be your starting point.
And when it doesn’t, because it won’t, use that moment not to tighten your grip, but to soften it.
Let the unplanned path reveal what the planned one might have hidden.
Because maybe the point isn’t to control the journey, but it’s to finally learn how to travel.
ps. And let me know how you get on with that. . .plan!
For ease please listen to this audio below
As we ‘move inwards’ this week here’s an unplanned self-care practice for tuning into your gut instinct. Hopefully something that feels more like a gentle ritual than a rigid routine. It blends mindfulness, embodiment, and a sense of surrender. I hope you enjoy it.
Unplanned Self-Care Practice: Listening to Your Gut
Because sometimes, your gut intuition just needs a little quiet in order to be heard.
There’s a part of you that already knows.
The one that whispers before logic interrupts.
The one that sits somewhere low in your belly — steady, sensing, ancient.
This practice isn’t about doing more. It’s about listening differently.
You don’t need a yoga mat.
You don’t need music.
You don’t even need a plan.
You just need a few minutes of your own attention.
Step 1: Arrive (as you are)
Pause wherever you are, maybe that’s in the kitchen, garden, at your desk, or sitting in your car.
Feel your feet, your hips, your breath.
Notice the world as it is in this exact moment — unfiltered
Let all the edges soften.
Let your breath drop lower, down into your belly.
Now ask yourself gently:
‘What’s true for me right now?’
Don’t rush to answer. Let your body respond before your mind does.
Step 2: Feel the tug
Your gut instinct rarely shouts — for me it nudges.
It’s that subtle tightening, that little pull, that quiet yes or not yet.
Bring your hand to your lower belly.
Breathe into that space as if you’re feeding it with air and attention.
Notice:
Does your body lean forward, or pull back?
Does it expand or contract?
Trust that this language without words (your body sensations) is your intuition speaking to you.
You don’t need to translate it. You just need to acknowledge it.
Step 3: Move with it
Now, let your body move the way it wants to.
Perhaps it’s a stretch, a sway, a deep exhale.
Maybe it’s sitting still and letting everything inside settle like sand in water.
Let your body lead for a change. Let instinct have the floor.
Step 4: Ask again
Now ask yourself quietly:
‘What do I need most right now, not what I should do, but what would truly serve me?’
Maybe it’s a rest.
Maybe it’s a walk.
Maybe it’s a conversation you’ve been avoiding.
Whatever surfaces — trust it. You don’t have to understand it. Just honour it.
Step 5: Close with gratitude
Place a hand on your belly, and whisper a quiet thank you, not for the answer, but for the listening.
Then, go live your next few hours without overthinking (no planning). Let your gut keep guiding the way, step by unplanned step.
A Gentle Reminder:
You don’t need a plan to hear your intuition, all you need is space. The more you listen, the louder it becomes.
And sometimes, the most radical self-care is simply trusting yourself again.
Remember the hardest part is continuing to show up for yourself with all the things you have to do and accomplish today.
Thank you for continuing to show up here. It’s an absolute pleasure to share this time with you. Thank you.
❤️ Namaste Tracey Xx
ps. if you have listened to the audio above you may hear towards the end, gentle snoring in the background! It’s my little adorable miniature schnauzer Alfie who loves nothing more than being curled up by my side as I make my recordings, and I don’t have the heart to re-do as it’s so super sweet, he’s totally chilled out listening to his intuition!
Please feel free to share You Are Not Alone with loved ones and friends. I trust whoever needs to read my musings will find them as a source of inspiration and hope. They are all written from my heart and offer the opportunity to dive deeper into truth, authenticity and trust.
Moving Inward = Self-care exercises designed to devote time to turning your gaze inwards and spend some precious ‘me time’ as often as possible. This helps to cultivate a beautiful conscious conversation with your body, mind & emotions. Through this process we get to practise listening, to be who we are, and creatively explore who we want to be. I hope the audios that I create with each essay helps you with this ❤️ how we move matters - where attention goes energy flows.
