How a forgotten inner resource can break quiet suffering

The Remedy to the Lies We Say

I was brought up to always tell the truth and not lie, and every day I do my best to live by that code, but there is a but!

Are you ready to hear it?

The greatest source of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.

Lets say that out loud and on repeat. . . go

The greatest source of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves.

It’s so damn true!

Not the voices of others. Not the circumstances outside our control. But the quiet, persistent narratives that play out in our own minds.

‘It’s too late to change.’
’This is just the way life is.’
’I should be grateful. Wanting more is greedy’

These are just a few lies of midlife. Lies that sound reasonable, believable, even responsible. And yet, every time we agree to them, a little more of us contracts. We grow smaller, quieter, more resigned.

Last Monday morning was just a normal start to the week, a grey day, nothing extra special. I was making a cup of my favourite green tea (Miles by the way) and I closed my eyes and pictured my ideal morning. . .

A slow and steady start, then writing at my desk by the window, Alfie cuddled up on my feet, the sunlight pouring in, my body feeling alive with energy and in my creative flow. For a moment, it wasn’t a day dream — it was real, I could feel it in my bones.

That’s when it hit me. . .

I had forgotten that I have a remedy. A birthright. A resource we’ve all used effortlessly as children but abandoned as adults.

That remedy is imagination and it’s the launchpad to a new chapter.

Imagination is not fanciful, it’s a lifeline, it is fundamental.

It is critical to the quality of our lives. Without imagination, there is no hope, no vision of a better future, no chance of a goal worth pursuing.

Imagine back to childhood for a moment. Maybe you once lay on the grass and stared at clouds, watching them transform into faces, castles or dragons. For those few moments, boredom, fear, and limitation didn’t exist. You were transported.

That same power lives in you still. In fact, it is the one power that can dissolve the lies you tell yourself right now this very second.

A recent story of reframing

Last week a dear client of mine came to me at 52. She had ‘done everything right’: successful career, children grown and thriving, a disciplined self-care routine of yoga and meditation, eat well, loved green smoothies, and journaled every night before bed. To everyone else, she looked radiant and accomplished.

But inside? She felt empty, exhausted. Bored with her own life. She confessed to me:

‘I feel like I’m living in black and white when I know colour is still possible. I just don’t know how to find it.’

Together, we didn’t start with another ‘to-do.’ No new health hack. No stricter meditation schedule. Instead, I asked her to close her eyes, place her hands over her heart and simply use her imagination to describe a day that she would feel truly alive.

Not the day she thought she should want, but the one she secretly longed for.

As is often the case, her body beautifully started to show me the way. . .

Her shoulders dropped, her jaw relaxed and a sweet smile tugged at her lips. She spoke of painting again, of travelling alone, of laughing with women who lit her up. By the time she opened her eyes, her skin was glowing.

The magic wasn’t that we’d made these dreams come true yet. The magic was that she remembered she still had permission to dream. Imagination cracked open the door she thought was locked forever.

Midlife is a paradox. On one hand, we carry the weight of responsibility whether thats family, work, relationships, health. But on the other, we feel an ache that whispers:

‘Is this all there is?’

We can silence that ache with busyness or we can let it guide us back to ourselves.

I strongly believe imagination is the missing piece. It relieves the boredom of routine. It alleviates the pain of quiet suffering. It fires creativity and enhances our capacity for joy. It even enriches our most intimate relationships, because when we imagine ourselves more fully alive, we bring that aliveness to those we love.

But perhaps most importantly, imagination allows us to reframe the lies.

Where once we thought ‘I can’t,’ we begin to imagine ‘What if I could?

Where once we thought ‘It’s too late’ we begin to imagine ‘Maybe this is the perfect time.’

So I invite you now to close your eyes, and picture a day that feels truly alive. Not one where you tick all the boxes, but one where you feel expanded, present, and at home in your body.

Who are you with?

What are you doing?

Where are you?

Let your imagination run wild.

Don’t edit. Don’t judge. Just listen.

Because the truth is this

The quality of your life in midlife and beyond will not be determined by how many boxes you tick. It will be shaped by the stories you dare to imagine and the lies you dare to release.

Imagination isn’t about doing more. It’s about remembering you already have the power to do differently.

Imagination is not just play; it is practice for possibility. When we dare to imagine, we loosen the grip of the old lies we’ve told ourselves and step into a truer, more expansive version of life.

To help you begin, here are some guided reflections and affirmations that help me to move forward. . .

My Journal Prompts

1. If I imagined my life in full colour again, what would I see, hear, feel, and do differently from today?

2. What is one lie I’ve been telling myself about what’s possible in midlife, and what new story could I imagine instead?

3. When I picture myself truly at home in my body and life, what does a typical day look and feel like?

My Affirmations

1. My imagination is a powerful tool for creating a life that feels true to me.

2. It is never too late to envision—and live into—a more vibrant, aligned future.

3. I release the lies that keep me small and welcome the possibilities my imagination reveals.

Let these be your stepping stones. Each time you write, affirm, or dream, you’re not escaping your life, you are actually redesigning it. That is the gift of imagination in midlife - the freedom to see beyond the noise and to reimagine a future that feels wholly, beautifully yours.

For ease you are welcome to listen to the next part of my essay by clicking this audio below

As we ‘move inwards’ today here’s a short, body-centred practice I love to use to ground myself, so it becomes a felt experience (in my body), not just a mental exercise.

A Body-Centred Grounding & Imagination Practice

1. Arrive in your body
   Sit comfortably with your bare feet on the floor. Close your eyes. Take three slow breaths, letting the exhale be longer than the inhale. Feel the weight of your body resting down into the chair, or into the earth.

2. Soften & scan
   Gently bring your awareness from the crown of your head down through your body, your jaw, shoulders, chest, belly, hips, legs, feet. Wherever you notice tension just pause slightly and breathe softly into that place and imagine it loosening and relaxing just like warm butter in the sunshine.

3. Anchor into your senses
   Then notice:

   The sensation of your feet pressing into the ground beneath you

   The support of the chair at your back

   The rhythm of your breath
   Let these be anchors that remind you:

   I am here. I am safe. I am home in my body.

4. Imagine a doorway
   With your eyes closed, whisper inwardly to yourself
   ’When I picture myself truly at home in my body and life, what does a typical day look and feel like?’

   
   Don’t force an answer. Instead, allow images, feelings, and sensations to rise. Maybe it’s the way the morning light touches your face, the sound of laughter, the flow of ease in your movements. Connect with your senses.

5. Feel it fully
   Imagine yourself moving through this day. Notice how your body feels in this vision, light, grounded, free perhaps? Stay with the sensations, let them soak in, feel your body.

6. Close gently
   Place a hand on your heart, another on your belly. Breathe in deeply as if you are sealing this vision inside your body and whisper to yourself -

   ‘I can return to this feeling whenever I choose.’

This practice not only grounds you but will also let your imagination live inside your body, not just in your mind, so the vision feels possible, even inevitable.

Remember the hardest part is continuing to show up for yourself with all the things you have to do and accomplish today.

Thank you for continuing to show up here. It’s an absolute pleasure to share this time with you. Thank you.

❤️ Namaste Tracey Xx

ps. if you are over on instagram, please feel free to check out my new account (midlife by design). You are also welcome to listen to my recent reel on imagination, click here to watch now

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Please feel free to share You Are Not Alone with loved ones and friends. I trust whoever needs to read my musings will find them as a source of inspiration and hope. They are all written from my heart and offer the opportunity to dive deeper into truth, authenticity and trust.

image by David Fenner

Moving Inward = Self-care exercises designed to devote time to turning your gaze inwards and spend some precious ‘me time’ as often as possible. This helps to cultivate a beautiful conscious conversation with your body, mind & emotions. Through this process we get to practise listening, to be who we are, and creatively explore who we want to be. I hope the audios that I create with each essay helps you with this ❤️ how we move matters - where attention goes energy flows.